Tuesday, 31 May 2011

I'm back...

Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for your messages of love & support. Your sweet words brightened my days. I feel so lucky to have such wonderful friends & family. Thank you.
The past month has been hard, so hard, in so many ways. At times I wanted to walk away. Surely this wasn't my life, surely I'd walked onto the wrong set.
We're ok. We're exausted & sick & tired of being sick & tired. Samuel is in remission & we've got at least another four weeks of treatment ahead of us. For him, that means another four weeks of no sleep & all the other "fun" stuff that comes along with it. For me, it means another four weeks of being strong, pushing through, managing doctors, drugs, appointments, trips to melbourne & trying in desperate vain to manage the home side of things. 
I feel like I've barely coped, like somehow magically I manage to see a day through & make it to the next. Huckle & I have had the flu & then bronchitis. The stress of it all made me want to lie down & never get up again. I haven't had much time for me, or to even think about me really.
My thoughts have been racing through my head so fast, I haven't dare tried to catch them. But other times I've been numb, totally switched off. No thinking, no doing, just existing.
I'm starting to feel myself again, normal (or as normal as one may be). My pen is flowing & my brain is ticking & soon my camera will be clicking too. I'm feeling inspired, motivated to make again & to bake again. I've tried to make stuff these past few weeks, only to screw it up (with the exception of one particular cushion). I've unpicked seams, unravelled failed crochet & baked cakes without baking soda! It appears my brain lacked the capacity for such things.
I've been getting out to the studio these past few days. No making yet, just cleaning & sorting. Easing myself back into a vague routine & trying to bring order to chaos. Ironing & folding fabrics, sifting through the turkey piles trying to find a home for everything. I need discipline & order.
I'm inspired to make again. I've been sketching ideas, matching fabrics & dreaming away. Hopefully this inspiration will get me back into the swing of things. There are a few Nest & Bindle items patiently waiting to be finished & list of gifts to catch up on too.
I did manage one bit of sewing, I should add. I joined in on Vic's cushion swap before this rollercoaster happened. I made a cushion for the lovely Michell of Leni & Rose. It wasn't anything fancy, just something a little special for her. Michelle is in the middle of opening a brand new business, digitally printing fabric. Excited yet? I sure am!
I was also lucky to receive a beautiful cushion from the sweet Michelle of Poppy, Bean & Bloss. I love how she incorporated 4 generations into the design. I haven't had a chance to photograph it living at my house yet, so pop over here to see it if you like.
I'm aiming to get back here regularly, but please forgive me if I'm a little sporadic for a while.
Apologies for the very long & perhaps a little hard going post. If you've made it this far, congratulations& thank you for reading.  


Catherine said...

Wishing you and your family all the best. That cushion is gorgeous!

teddybearswednesday said...

SO glad to have you back Kitty, and happy to hear you are beginning to feel like yourself again.
as I've said before the last couple of months must have been so horrendous and difficult with hard stuff still to come.
I don't know how you've gotten though it, done but you have, and whether you felt you were coping or not you did. You're an amazing strong and resllient woman. as well as being a super special one.
anyway I'm sending you lots of love and thoughts and wishes and big hugs.
if you need ANYTHING.......

Sonia said...

Well done on getting the cushion done.

You and your family are in my thoughts and I'm sending you all lots of positive energy. I know we're just readers on a blog but believe me when I say a lot of us readers hope the best for you.

Don't forget to take care of yourself.

Andi said...

Welcome back.
Great work getting through those horrible few weeks. I'm just impressed that you survived it all!!
And you even managed some stitching (and lovely it is too)!!!!
Take it easy.
Andi xx

Posie Patchwork said...

Oh wow, what a big crazy month you've had, wishing you all good healthy & recovery from this ordeal.
I know Michelle from Poppy Bean & Bloss, you'll have good vibes from that cushion in your place, made from her heart i bet.
Love Posie

Kate said...

Big love to you and your boys Kitty. x

Catherine said...

No need for apologies, we will be here to enjoy your blog whenever you are ready Kitty. Take care of you and I hope that all goes well, that things will return to normal soon. Thinking of you. xo

Jaclyn said...

I've been thinking of you and the family and can only imagine how hard these past few weeks have been for all of you. Hang in there..xx

CurlyPops said...

Sending healing wishes Kitty...
Cam x

suze2000 said...

Oh boy, and I thought I had had a rough month. You will all get through this, and be stronger for it when you come through the other side. In the meantime, all the best for a smooth treatment round, and staying sane. x

kristi said...

take your time sweet lady. wishing you and your family the best. x.