Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for your messages of love & support. Your sweet words brightened my days. I feel so lucky to have such wonderful friends & family. Thank you.
The past month has been hard, so hard, in so many ways. At times I wanted to walk away. Surely this wasn't my life, surely I'd walked onto the wrong set.
We're ok. We're exausted & sick & tired of being sick & tired. Samuel is in remission & we've got at least another four weeks of treatment ahead of us. For him, that means another four weeks of no sleep & all the other "fun" stuff that comes along with it. For me, it means another four weeks of being strong, pushing through, managing doctors, drugs, appointments, trips to melbourne & trying in desperate vain to manage the home side of things.
I feel like I've barely coped, like somehow magically I manage to see a day through & make it to the next. Huckle & I have had the flu & then bronchitis. The stress of it all made me want to lie down & never get up again. I haven't had much time for me, or to even think about me really.
My thoughts have been racing through my head so fast, I haven't dare tried to catch them. But other times I've been numb, totally switched off. No thinking, no doing, just existing.
I'm starting to feel myself again, normal (or as normal as one may be). My pen is flowing & my brain is ticking & soon my camera will be clicking too. I'm feeling inspired, motivated to make again & to bake again. I've tried to make stuff these past few weeks, only to screw it up (with the exception of one particular cushion). I've unpicked seams, unravelled failed crochet & baked cakes without baking soda! It appears my brain lacked the capacity for such things.
I've been getting out to the studio these past few days. No making yet, just cleaning & sorting. Easing myself back into a vague routine & trying to bring order to chaos. Ironing & folding fabrics, sifting through the turkey piles trying to find a home for everything. I need discipline & order.
I'm inspired to make again. I've been sketching ideas, matching fabrics & dreaming away. Hopefully this inspiration will get me back into the swing of things. There are a few Nest & Bindle items patiently waiting to be finished & list of gifts to catch up on too.
I was also lucky to receive a beautiful cushion from the sweet Michelle of Poppy, Bean & Bloss. I love how she incorporated 4 generations into the design. I haven't had a chance to photograph it living at my house yet, so pop over here to see it if you like.
I'm aiming to get back here regularly, but please forgive me if I'm a little sporadic for a while.
Apologies for the very long & perhaps a little hard going post. If you've made it this far, congratulations& thank you for reading.
xxx
xxx
