I'm back...

Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for your messages of love & support. Your sweet words brightened my days. I feel so lucky to have such wonderful friends & family. Thank you.

The past month has been hard, so hard, in so many ways. At times I wanted to walk away. Surely this wasn't my life, surely I'd walked onto the wrong set.

We're ok. We're exausted & sick & tired of being sick & tired. Samuel is in remission & we've got at least another four weeks of treatment ahead of us. For him, that means another four weeks of no sleep & all the other "fun" stuff that comes along with it. For me, it means another four weeks of being strong, pushing through, managing doctors, drugs, appointments, trips to melbourne & trying in desperate vain to manage the home side of things. 

I feel like I've barely coped, like somehow magically I manage to see a day through & make it to the next. Huckle & I have had the flu & then bronchitis. The stress of it all made me want to lie down & never get up again. I haven't had much time for me, or to even think about me really.

My thoughts have been racing through my head so fast, I haven't dare tried to catch them. But other times I've been numb, totally switched off. No thinking, no doing, just existing.

I'm starting to feel myself again, normal (or as normal as one may be). My pen is flowing & my brain is ticking & soon my camera will be clicking too. I'm feeling inspired, motivated to make again & to bake again. I've tried to make stuff these past few weeks, only to screw it up (with the exception of one particular cushion). I've unpicked seams, unravelled failed crochet & baked cakes without baking soda! It appears my brain lacked the capacity for such things.

I've been getting out to the studio these past few days. No making yet, just cleaning & sorting. Easing myself back into a vague routine & trying to bring order to chaos. Ironing & folding fabrics, sifting through the turkey piles trying to find a home for everything. I need discipline & order.

I'm inspired to make again. I've been sketching ideas, matching fabrics & dreaming away. Hopefully this inspiration will get me back into the swing of things. There are a few Nest & Bindle items patiently waiting to be finished & list of gifts to catch up on too.

I did manage one bit of sewing, I should add. I joined in on Vic's cushion swap before this rollercoaster happened. I made a cushion for the lovely Michell of Leni & Rose. It wasn't anything fancy, just something a little special for her. Michelle is in the middle of opening a brand new business, digitally printing fabric. Excited yet? I sure am!

I was also lucky to receive a beautiful cushion from the sweet Michelle of Poppy, Bean & Bloss. I love how she incorporated 4 generations into the design. I haven't had a chance to photograph it living at my house yet, so pop over here to see it if you like.

I'm aiming to get back here regularly, but please forgive me if I'm a little sporadic for a while.

Apologies for the very long & perhaps a little hard going post. If you've made it this far, congratulations& thank you for reading.  
xxx

wednesday colour...

A little colour inspiration to brighten your week.

Oooh, I did warn you... autumn leaves again. 

I took this photo when I first moved to Melbourne 7 1/2 years ago. I lived in Carlton & walked through the Carlton gardens every day. I fell in love with Autumn & the great change that it brings. The crackle of leaves under my feet, the skeletal form the trees developed, the fresh chill in the air & the wrapping of the scarf around my neck. 

Coming from Queensland this was all so very novel.

not so good news...

I'm absolutely wrecked. 

We've spent the past few days uptown in a hospital, dealing with tests, tests & more tests. 

My dear husband has been diagnosed with Thyroid Eye Disease & currently only has use of one of his eyes. The other is shut & when held open, has double vision. He starts treatment on monday, a dose of steroids each week for a month & a half. Hopefully this will be enough & further treatments won't be needed. 

He is most upset that he is unable to drive, it is his most favourite thing. There is a chance that he may not be able to race for quite some time. That's him below, racing at Phillip Island.

I may not be around much over the next few weeks. I'm emotionally & physically drained.

I'm staying positive though & we're just taking one day at a time. There's a few big decisions to be made. Big decisions scare me. Once I've made them I'm fine... it's just the whole lead up to them.

Huckle's birthday party is tomorrow. All of our lovely friends & family are helping the party happen. I am so grateful for their support, I really wouldn't have coped on my own. So, so grateful.

I hope you're having a gorgeous weekend.

Chat soon. x

wednesday colour...

A little colour inspiration to brighten your week.

Autumn leaves again. I do hope you are not tiring of them, for there is more autumnal goodness to come.

a slight delay...

The 12 month photo has been delayed a little. Huckle is hands down refusing to sleep today & I've done everything but tape my hands to my feet in desperate measure to NOT PULL MY HAIR OUT!

Sorry for yelling.

I'm distracting myself with some scenes from my time in the garden this week. 

Starting our winter sowing (probably a little late), chopping firewood (yes, I chopped it... well this tiny amount anyway) & picking roses to pretty up the bathroom.

Hopefully I'll have some headspace freed up sometime soon, so I can write about all the magical things my lovely little Huckle is up to now that he is one.

I hope your day is lovely & sunny & that all your smalls are sleeping (if you have them of course).